Bitter Sweets
by TisAFarFarGreater
Summary: This tells how Peter drifted to the dark side and went without recognition for far too long.


Hey! Im working on an update but this wouldnt stay in my head so I wrote it. Read and Enjoy.

The rat just sat there. Voldemort knew who he was. He was one of the elder Black's friends. That Black was a defector and deserved no merit. This rat would have to be taken care of delicately though, it was still a Hogwarts student and Dumbledore looked for any excuse to come after him. Voldemort would never say it aloud or even let the thought become fully formed in his brain, but that old wizard, capable of bringing down Gelert Grindelwald scared him. Scared him like nothing else.

"Well, Mr. Pettigrew, what brings you here?" Voldemort gestured around the room, dark and dank but well hidden and guarded better than Gringotts. The rat cowered, clearly not going to reveal itself. The phoenix feather wand was pointed and instantaneously the little rat was a rotund boy. "What do you want?" Voldemort kept his tone light, trying to keep the boy pacified. This large boy could be used, if he could be swayed.

"I," Peter stuttered out, unsure how to say what he needed to say. He was suddenly unsure why he was even here. This was a bad idea. Worse than when Sirius had tried to have Remus eat Snivellus.

"You have come to see respect." Voldemort moved closer to the pitiful boy. "You can find that here." Voldemort noticed the faint look of optimism on the round face, masked well by the fear of being so close to the most evil person alive.

"My friends," he spat the word s if it tasted funny, "have left me behind for the last time. I will do anything to get back at them." Voldemort smiled his sick and twisted smile, those kids were going to do all the work for him. Peter had stopped shaking, remembering why he was here. "They fucking left me alone and snuck of to Hogsmead. They came back so wasted and acted like nothing was wrong. Stupid fucking tools."

"I think I can help you with that, Mr. Pettigrew, follow me." Voldemort lead the way into the next room, already filled with followers. Peter decided this was a good idea after all. For an evil wizard this man seemed rather nice. Everyone must be making up how cruel he is.

* * *

><p>Remus watched as Peter slowly drifted away from them. Instead of him trailing behind them he was leaving them out of things. James and Sirius didn't notice, or didn't see a problem with it. Remus felt bad because he knew that James and Sirius excluded him a lot and he should have done more to help.<p>

"Hey Peter, want to go to Honeyduke's with me? I'll buy." Remus swung an arm around Wormtail and was shocked when Peter flinched.

"No, I'm fine. Go out with the other two and leave me alone like always." Peter tried to keep a hold of the anger. He tried to justify what he was doing. They were cruel. It was their fault he had to turn to the dark side. He didn't feel bad for a single thing he had told Voldemort.

"I already said no to the other guys. I wanted some quality time with you. I've missed you, man." Remus sat down on the common room couch and pulled his pal with him. "SO you don't want to go to Honeyduke's?" Remus paused to scan Peter's face. "Then we can do homework. I've got a pile of it. Want to work together? Get it done faster?" Peter knew Remus would work much faster without Peter to slow him down, yet he was still offering. And on a Hogsmead weekend.

Peter tried to sink back into the couch. He felt lower than dirt. Last night, during one of the Dark Lord's less pleasant moments, which had become the only moments since Peter got the Mark, Peter had tried to calm his seething master by revealing new secrets about his friends. He had already told all he knew about Dumbledore. He didn't know much, and was beginning to suspect it was on purpose because looking back the Headmaster had never really seemed to trust him.

It hadn't been his fault. The Dark Lord had crucio'd him. Once. And then he had spilled the secret that could ruin this kind sandy blonde for the rest of his life. He had told the vilest man on the face of the earth that his best, most kind friend was a werewolf.

"I can't, Remus. I don't feel well." The words felt like poison on his tongue. He didn't deserve to be on a first name basis with him. And now he was lying. Remus would probably tell him to feel better and worry after him all afternoon. He was the worst being alive. And now he did feel really sick.

Remus watched poor Peter turn green. He really was sick. "Do feel better. If you leave your work here I'll get the bulk of it done. It's not cheating if you're really ill." Remus smiled warmly and Peter had to run from the room, unable to look at the kindness he had spoiled.

* * *

><p>Really, Remus never stopped trying to reach Peter but the others, they never started.<p>

Remus wouldn't know. He was smart but he was trusting. When he finally began to suspect, without James to anchor him, he had blamed wrong. He had blamed Pads and because of this he had lost them all. He had been alone for so long that the wolf had been welcome. When he had seen his best friend after thirteen years he had held him at wand point. And then he had tried to kill Peter. And the wolf and Pads were his companions in that empty house when everyone else was where he wished he could be. He wanted to go home to the castle.

And then Bella had taken the last commiserate away and he had been lost to the wolf. Others noticed only a slight difference, but he never really returned from the ministry. His heart was in that dark room, staring at the Veil.

Peter still regretted his decision, and had died trying to do better. He missed James and Sirius but he only truly felt guilty for Remus. Death was a release, he was free to ignore and scurry. He could be Scabbers, because no one had wanted him as Peter.


End file.
